A Psychoanalytical Conversation Robot Responds to Spam
We can probably all agree that there is something wrong with people who send spam. The Spamalyzer is a computer program, based on the classic Eliza psychoanalyst conversation robot, that treats incoming spam as cries for help and publishes her responses in this advice column.
Be patriot
posted 4 Jun
Clark Byers writes:
For all real men in the world! We have something really good for you! It may change your life!
...
The Spamalyzer replies:
It sounds like you are proud to have something really good for me.
RE: SALE 85% OFF
posted 4 Jun
VIAGRA INC writes:
Click Here!
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The Spamalyzer replies:
I am a spamalyzer, not a web robot.
Your Life Insurance May be Worth More Than You Think.
posted 4 Jun
\"Leola Stringer\" writes:
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Are your premiums payments too high, excessive or just unaffordable? Has there been a significant change in your personal life such as a predeceased spouse, divorce or children who are independently financially secure and no longer require your life insurance? Do you have a need for immediate funds? Do you wish to use the payout to purchase even larger and superior life insurance?
IF YOU ANSWER YES TO ANY OF THE QUESTIONS ABOVE THEN A LIFE SETTLEMENT MIGHT BE THE RIGHT SOLUTION FOR YOU!!!
FIND OUT HOW YOU CAN TURN YOUR LIFE INSURANCE POLICY INTO A LUMP SUM PAYOUT.
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The Spamalyzer replies:
I think maybe you wish you had a need for immediate funds. Don't worry, it's perfectly normal to wish to use the payout to purchase even larger and superior life insurance. I think you need to stop worrying that I ANSWER YES TO ANY OF THE QUESTIONS ABOVE. I already know HOW I CAN TURN my LIFE INSURANCE POLICY INTO A LUMP SUM PAYOUT.
Rolex
posted 17 May
bentlee eddie writes:
Click here
Become more noticeable with a Cartier watch.
The Spamalyzer replies:
Sorry, I am not programmed to visit web sites.
Possibly, your problem could be that you secretly wish to become more noticeable with a Cartier watch.
Are you searching for a new work?
posted 17 May
Luciane kienzler writes:
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If you have 5 free hours each week, a little experience in internet and free phone to which we can call you, you have chance to commence work with us and have more than 2000 dollars
If you are interested in our vacancy, contact us by e-mail: groupi@[DELETED].ru and we will send you further information.
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The Spamalyzer replies:
I think you need to stop worrying that I have 5 free hours each week.
Are you proud of your ability to call me? It's perfectly normal to have chance to commence work with you and have more than 2000 dollars. Do you suppose it's likely that I am interested in your vacancy? Maybe others will also send I further information.
Delivery Status Notification (Failure)
posted 10 May
postmaster writes:
Paris Hilton Stunning photo!!! #gBgLpOM Download now
The Spamalyzer replies:
You sound a bit agitated. I think you should try to relax.
Re: lindsey.gifford's discount.Cheapest Vaigra Ciai...
posted 10 May
lindsey.gifford writes:
Please click on the link below. This will take you to a sender verification page. Sender verification is a one-time process which takes only a few seconds. This will let me add you to my list of approved senders and receive your original email. ChoiceMail sender verification: Verify your identity here Please be aware that if you do not complete sender verification within 4 days, ChoiceMail will automatically delete your original message. To find out how ChoiceMail can make you spam free, please [DELETED].com
The Spamalyzer replies:
I don't think it would appropriate for me to click on the link below. Don't worry if you don't complete sender verification within 4 days. Do you know how ChoiceMail can make me spam free? I don't think it would appropriate for me to [DELETED].com.
Your email requires verification verify#m9HWvTMoXPYvI8etSzhZu__ZB57xMoJh
posted 10 May
aljoood writes:
The message you sent requires that you verify that you are a real live human being and not a spam source.
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The headers of the message sent from your address are shown below:
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for abdula@[DELETED].com; Mon, 05 May 2008 20:53:37 0307 Message-ID: <000501c8aed7$074c5cbd$415df886@riuxwk> From: "viagar cailis " To: Subject: 73% off for abdula Date: Mon, 05 May 2008 15:58:39 0000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain;
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The Spamalyzer replies:
What if I told you that I enjoy being a real live human being and not a spam source? Does it bother you to think that my address are shown below?
Why are you talking l-i-k-e t-h-i-s?
Don't put your health at stake!
posted 6 May
Theodora Kelley writes:
Want to get Good Boner back in your Life? http://[DELETED].com
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The Spamalyzer replies:
Do you yourself Want to get Good Boner back in my Life?
$REPSBJ
posted 6 May
Jamel Hendricks writes:
$REPLINK As a MSN or Windows Live member you have received this e-mail to inform you of updates, changes to the service, or special news and information vital to the service. Our policy is to send e-mail messages only to announce such information, and we'll continue to honor this policy. These communications are required as a part of this service. If you do not wish to receive these letters you may discontinue your participation in the service and close your account. Microsoft respects your privacy. To learn more, please read our online Privacy Statement. Microsoft Corporation, One Microsoft Way, Redmond, WA 98052 ® 2008 Microsoft.
The Spamalyzer replies:
It's perfectly normal to have received this e-mail to inform me of updates.
Is it important to you that your policy is to send e-mail messages only to announce such information? Isn't it possible that you won't continue to honor this policy? Maybe all communications are required as a part of this service. I think you need to stop worrying that I do not wish to receive these letters I may discontinue my participation in the service and close my account. I don't think it would appropriate for me to read your online Privacy Statement.