A Psychoanalytical Conversation Robot Responds to Spam
We can probably all agree that there is something wrong with people who send spam. The Spamalyzer is a computer program, based on the classic Eliza psychoanalyst conversation robot, that treats incoming spam as cries for help and publishes her responses in this advice column.
best med$ with best disc()unts over the world!
posted 2006
Willard writes:
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You can get it here: http://[DELETED].com
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The Spamalyzer replies:
It's possible that anyone could get it here.
Your doc thinks you`re millionaire? Nina
posted 2006
Key Jacquelyn writes:
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Our collection of erectile medicinals is also top notch:
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The Spamalyzer replies:
Is it important to you that your collection of erectile medicinals is also top notch?
Re[5]:Hello, my dear Stranger!
posted 2006
Caris writes:
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Very seldom people are happy being lonely, so I decided to take my chance and send you a letter. Once I've seen your ad in the internet, but couldn't have the temerity of sending you my note, especially without your interest in meÂ…Â… But still you were in my mind... And now I am sending my letter to you.
I can say that I am quite happy with my life, but I am missing my one and only special man. Loneliness is what I want to get rid of. If you are looking for a smiling face, sparkling eyes and heart full of love, write me to http://[DELETED].com/mymatch
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The Spamalyzer replies:
I think a lot of people are sending your letter to I. Are you proud of your ability to say that you are quite happy with your life? And how long have you been missing your one and only special man? I think a lot of people want to get rid of. I think you need to stop worrying that I am looking for a smiling face.
{uk_sbj}
posted 2006
Emory Benjamin writes:
We are happy to introduce our new project. Â
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Our auction trade association is very popular with those willing to sell or purchase from different parts of the world.
ThatÂ’s when we are happy to offer different vacancies to those interested in becoming a part of the Online Trader Association.
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Job description: Assist traders from Your region with funds processing from the initial trader to the auction seller himself. Become the initial third party between the UK trader and the auction seller from abroad.
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If You wish to apply for any of the positions above or would like to get more info, please REPLY.
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The Spamalyzer replies:
And how long have you been happy to introduce your new project? Is it important to you that your auction trade association is very popular with those willing to sell or purchase from different parts of the world?
I think a lot of people are happy to offer different vacancies to those interested in becoming a part of the Online Trader Association.
Possibly, your problem could be that you secretly wish to become the initial third party between the UK trader and the auction seller from abroad. Do you suppose it's likely that I wish to apply for any of the positions above or would like to get more info?
I don't think it would appropriate for me to REPLY.
Extra income in United States
posted 2006
Fred Valentin writes:
We are happy to introduce our new project. Â
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Our auction trade association is very popular with those willing to sell or purchase from different parts of the world. ThatÂ’s when we are happy to offer different vacancies to those interested in becoming a part of the Online Trader Association.
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Merchant manager Schedule: 3-5 hours per day. Salary: From 4000 USD per month commissions for successful completion of weekly duties with no delays. Requirements: online access, mobile and land line number, bank account with one of US Banks to process initial funds transfers from US traders to our worldwide auction sellers Job description: Assist traders from Your region with funds processing from the initial trader to the auction seller himself. Become the initial third party between the US trader and the auction seller from abroad. British citizenship is not obligatory.
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Perspectives: 1. Individual career growth variety. 2. Work successfully and get weekly commission besides monthly salary for outstanding performance of oneÂ’s duties. If You wish to apply for any of the positions above or would like to get more info, please confirm Your interest and reply to us.
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The Spamalyzer replies:
I think a lot of people are happy to introduce your new project. Isn't it possible that your auction trade association isn't very popular with those willing to sell or purchase from different parts of the world at all? And how long have you been happy to offer different vacancies to those interested in becoming a part of the Online Trader Association?
Are many of your friends already the initial third party between the you trader and the auction seller from abroad? Is this a problem for you?
Do you suppose it's likely that I wish to apply for any of the positions above or would like to get more info?
I'm not sure I understand why you want me to confirm my interest and reply to you.
Thank you for your loan request
posted 2006
Ocean the writes:
we'd like to inform you that we are accepting your application, bad credit ok, We are ready to give you a $260,000 loan for a low month payment. Approval process will take only 1 minute. Please visit the confirmation link below and fill-out our short 30 second form. www.[DELETED].com
The Spamalyzer replies:
It's perfectly normal to want to inform me that you are accepting my application. And how long have you been ready to give me a $260,000 loan for a low month payment? I don't think it would appropriate for me to visit the confirmation link below and fill-out your short 30 second form.
Ask for help from Russia
posted 2006
Valentin writes:
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Please excuse me for inconvience cause by this message.
My name is Valentin. I'm student and I live with my mother in city Kaluga, Russia, located 200km from Moscow. My mother is invalid. She cannot see and she receive pension from government very rare which is not enought even for medications.
I work very hard every day to be able to buy the necessities for my mother, but my salary is very small, because my studies still not finished.
Due to the deep crisis in our country, the authorities stoped gas in our district and now we cannot heat our home. I don't know what to do, because the winter is coming and the weather will be very cold. I am very afraid that the temperature inside our home will be very cold and we will not be able to survive.
Therefore I collected several e-mail addresses and thanks to the free internet access at our local library I decided to appeal to you with prayer in my heart for small help. If you have any old sleeping bag, portable stove, electric heater, warm clothes, electric water-boiler, canned and dried food, vitamins, medicines from cold, any hygiene-products, I will be very grateful to you if you could send it to our postal address which is:
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If you think that it would be better or easier for you to help with some money, please write me back I will provide you with details how to send it safely, if you agree. This way to help is very good, because in this case I will be able to buy a portable stove and heat our home during the winter.
I hope to hear from you very soon and I pray that you can help us. I also hope very much that this hard situation will become better in our country very soon.
>From all my heart, I wish you all the best. I wish that all your dreams come true and your life will be full of hapiness.
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__________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://[DELETED].com
______________________________________________________________________ This email has been scanned by the MessageLabs Email Security System. For more information please visit http://www.[DELETED].com/email ______________________________________________________________________
The Spamalyzer replies:
Can't you yourself excuse you for inconvience cause by this message?
Isn't it possible that your name isn't Valentin at all? I think a lot of people are student and you live with your mother in city Kaluga.
You could try asking other people if they think your mother is invalid. Is it important to you that your salary is very small?
Does it bother you that you can't heat your home? And how long have you been very afraid that the temperature inside your home will be very cold and you will not be able to survive? Have you too any old sleeping bag? Maybe others will also be very grateful to I if I could send it to your postal address which is. Do you suppose it's likely that I think that it would be better or easier for I to help with some money? Are you looking forward to the day when you can provide me with details how to send it safely?
Do you suppose it's likely that I agree? Is it important to you that your way to help is very good? Isn't it possible that you won't be able to buy a portable stove and heat your home during the winter? Can you yourself help you? Actually, my hard situation will also become better in your country very soon. Will your dreams come true and my life also be full of hapiness?
Do other people seem to think that you Yahoo!?
Does it make you happy when people come to you for more information?
It’s a pity, because you could do it with her much longer!
posted 2006
Carmichael writes:
Good Day! The good news are that this obstacle can be overcome by you, the real man. With all the reasons combated, Extra-Time is the unmatched comprehensive non-hormonal solution. Ever thought your relationship is about to break up because you finish within a few minutes from penetration? Take a look: http://[DELETED].com/y/et/ This is your chance to build relationship of your dreams with your partner.
The Spamalyzer replies:
Maybe your relationship is also about to break up because I finish within a few minutes from penetration. Possibly, it is only in your mind that it is my chance to build relationship of my dreams with my partner.
Fill her up
posted 2006
Super Size your Unit writes:
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If we can't help, no one can.
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The Spamalyzer replies:
Nobody thinks less of you just because you can't help.
Take pleasure from Unlike other products, this one gives you permanent gains in
posted 2006
Hunter writes:
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You are just a click away from something which will eliminate your most distressing trouble. You will have to learn to handle your thicker longer tool in just several weeks.
Whether you are below or above average size, you will do much better with a few extra inches. Longer, better, more enjoyable - start expecting the fun you will have right now! See our offer: http://[DELETED].com/i/xl2/ You won't increase your most important muscle in gyms - so this is what you have to try!
But if they had bad breath it would be a real turn-off. We're used to spending a lot of money on power-adders, but do they really add power? One way to find out is to strap your ride onto a dyno at a dynamometer facility and see how quickly the I want to get more into TV If the coolant becomes too hot, it will boil and create vapor Of course you can always save your run and retest the car to be certain your pulls are consistent
The Spamalyzer replies:
What if I told you that I enjoy being just a click away from something which will eliminate my most distressing trouble?
Perhaps it amuses you to think about others that they will have to learn to handle my thicker longer tool in just several weeks. Being below or above average size isn't such a bad thing.
You really shouldn't worry about whether other people will do much better with a few extra inches.
What makes you think I would have right now this fun? Perhaps it amuses you to think about others that they will not increase my most important muscle in gyms. Have a lot of people you know to try? I think a lot of people are used to spending a lot of money on power-adders. I think a lot of people want to get more into TV If the coolant becomes too hot.
Does it bother you to think that my run and retest the car to be certain my pulls are consistent?